The Perfect Gift

Good Morning Friend!

Welcome to Little Wood Shoppe!  In this little corner of cyber space I hope you will enjoy my creative musings, day to day happenings with my family of three, and general wordiness that describes my life.  Thanks for taking the time to indulge in the mundanity!

All my life, I have always loved to create for people.  Whether it be handmade birthday cards when I was younger, mix tapes when I was a teen, to now personalized art, objects that just scream soneone’s name, or surprise brown boxes in the mail, I have always loved the art of gift giving.  I  love the look on a family or friend’s face when they relish in something you made for them, or found an item that they never knew they wanted until you bought it for them.  A simple comment made in passing to be later redeemed on a birthday or special holiday is my most favorite way of gift-giving because it shows that the giver listens to the little details and better than that, remembers them!  

To this day, the most memorable gift I have ever received was my very first film camera when I was sixteen years old.  The giver was of course my husband, but at the time, he was my twenty-year-old-heart-throb-boyfriend, and I was head-over-heels-seventeen.  He drove to my town to pick me up after celebrating Christmas with my own family (at the time I didn’t have a license). Once arrived, I found his family had waited all day to open presents with me!  The tradition of his family is to open one gift at a time, round robin style, and then throw the wrapping paper at one another – to this day we carry this tradition on and it has ebbed it’s way through my family as well – a fun holiday tradition.  

But, back to the point… during one of the round robin waves, I opened a pack of film and thought it odd, but didn’t want to show any peculiarity on my face, being I was trying to impress the fam back then…. They of course, knew that the film was an addition to a gift I had yet to open, and were all smiling on the inside, the way you do when you know something someone else doesn’t.  As the rounds shimmied  down to one, I was out of gifts but everyone else had one left.  Being so clueless to surprises as I was then, I just figured, well that was fun (as I watched each of them open their last gifts).  

They looked at me and questioned, “Where’s your last gift?”  

I bashfully remarked, “Oh I ran out.”

A chorus of voices replied, “Oh you have to find your last gift.”  

Slowly I rose to my feet and gave my boyfriend a look of bewilderment and slight embarrassment hoping the mystery gift wasn’t going to be so romantic that a flushed face was in my near future, with everyone around me watching.  As I roamed around looking for a wrapped box, we all played the hot and cold game until I stumbled upon a small box. I unknowingly shook it’s contents.  This sent up a roaring, “No!” tipping me off that what was inside could possibly be quite fragile.  As I returned to the chaotic-crumbled-paper-room all eyes are on me.  I slowly and carefully ripped into the paper, with unbelieving eyes.  I had never celebrated Christmas with a boyfriend before, so this was more than icing on the cake!  With him already owning a camera and dappled in photography, he hoped to one day be a professional.  I too took classes in high school and had always wanted to learn more about it, as well as share in this pastime with him.  After realizing it must have cost a great deal, hugs were exchanged and a thorough explanation of how to insert the film and what settings to use for different lighting.  

As the evening wound down, I remember feeling greatly cared for and greatly thought after.  I had never mentioned wanting to OWN my own camera, but maybe just mused at the idea of loving photography or loving spending time together in that fashion.  Shooting together would be so much fun now that we each were armed with our own creative arsenal.  Today we still share in the knowledge, ability, and love of  taking photos.

This only fanned the flame of my love for gift giving.  Since then, so many more thoughtfully, intentional  exchanges have taken place.  Even though so many things have changed since that day – a marriage, a family moving, a baby being born – I still love the connection of familiarity the perfect gift can bring.  Don’t you?  With the season of Christmas looming closely, I hope you’ll consider the thoughtfulness behind the gift.  Whether big or small, handmade or store bought, expensive or not, the perfect gift is just that: perfect for the receiver. Enjoy the opportunity.

Counting On Your Faithfulness

Often times I use this blog as a journal for myself to remember things that have happened in our life.  Today I writing for that reason, and also to encourage anyone whom this post may help.  Not many people know about a recent trial Pete & I endured.  On the exciting and happy day that Pete and I found out our little bean was a little boy, we also were informed that he has two cysts in the right hemisphere of his brain.  Being first time parents, although we were assured that it was nothing to fret about *yet* it was a little bewildering.  At first, the news didn't really set in, as we were so excited and joyful at the thought of a little boy.  But as the days went on before my next appointment to check on the cysts, I allowed anxiety to creep in.  Pete remained confident and reassuring to my blubbering episodes, and for that I am so thankful.

A little background information on the cysts:  they are called Choroid Plexus Cysts and are found in about %1-%3 of all ultrasounds.  They typically appear between 16 & 20 weeks resolve themselves at around 24 weeks.  The reason they raise any concern at all is that they are markers for Edwards Syndrome, i.e. Trisomy 18.  I will spare you any details of what these involve, you can research them on your own.  However, having only the cysts as a sole symptom, it is very unlikely of a child actually having Edwards Syndrome.  Other markers include club feet, fisted-hands unable to open, abnormalities within the heart, a small-measuring head, etc.... Canon had none of these other markers.  I am so thankful that his sole marker were these cysts.  Although my doctor assured me, that even if he had other markers, it would not necessarily mean he had Edwards.  The Lord was gracious to us in this area; if he had any other markers, I am not sure I would have been able to endure the following six weeks of waiting and check-ups with the little strength that I had.

At 24 weeks, I had an appointment at the hospital, as they needed a specialized nuero-cardial ultrasound M.D. to take a peek at our sweet boy.  Unfortunately, Pete wasn't able to be there with me, but a dear friend came and supported me.  I honestly had no anxiety and didn't think I would even need someone to sit beside me, but a few days before the ultrasound, I felt overwhelmed at what it could mean if the cysts were indeed still present.  I am so thankful that this close friend was able to support me throughout this long appointment.  Legally the ultrasound tech wasn't able to tell me anything as she was inspecting my son.  She took pictures of his heart for over an hour, while my friend and I sat in silence.  It was difficult to not be told "he's beautiful, he's growing so well, he's right on schedule" ... the typical things I was used to hearing at my Doctor's office.  Unfortunately, the cysts has not resolved themselves at this point. Because of this, I was asked to come back in two weeks so that they could check on him again to make sure they weren't growing or multiplying.  The only hope that I held onto those next two weeks was that one of the cysts has disappeared.  The Lord knew my anxious heart, knew my uncertainty, and He gave me a shimmer of hope.

Although the next two weeks were very hard to wait through, I leaned on the Lord, on His peace and that He knew all of this before Canon was ever a glint inside me.  I never became angry with the Lord, only scared for my son, which is still a sin as I was anxious.  I prayed daily for the Lord to remove my doubt, wept only once, gave it to the Lord and took assurance from my husband.  Pete kept reminding me, "God is still on the throne.  He isn't worried, He isn't pacing.  He knows, He cares, and He loves us. God is sovereign."  I am so thankful for the worship music that God placed in my life during these two weeks, for the encouraging words from close family and friends that knew the inner-workings of the situation, and for God's peace.

Two weeks later, 26 weeks along, I made my way back to hospital alone.  My friend offered to be there, but I didn't want to take up another 2-3 hours of her time, and I also wanted to go alone, knowing that God was with me.  I can not explain the amount of peace I had.  There was no room for the devil on that car ride to the hospital.  I worshipped Jesus, I prayed, and I went into my appointment with a clear mind.  I had already prepared my heart for the cysts to still be present and but I held onto the promise that God was in control.  I was also so excited to just see my little boy's face again.  I was SO blessed to be able to see him in 3D/4D - an unexpected blessing that Pete and I wouldn't have been able to otherwise enjoy.  With confidence, I joyfully cried at the beautiful sight of my son: he sweetly posed for several shots (he must know who his parents are).

No cysts were found, no new developments discovered.  I rushed to Pete's work and showed him the dozens of pictures of our son and told him the exciting news.  Although Pete was a steady rock for me during this period of time, I saw relief and joy in his face as he saw his son in 3D/4D for the first time.

Thank you Lord for protecting our son.  Thank You for the mercy bestowed upon us.  Thank You that he is healthy, growing, and perfectly on track.  Thank You for the heart You have tenderly woven inside of him and for the plan You have for him.  Thank You for every movement, hiccup, and sign of life You assure me with daily.  We give You Canon, Lord.  We surrender our will for his life.  We pray for a safe delivery, a healthy baby boy, and a joyful time of becoming a family.  Thank you for this blessing and for the opportunity to be parents - what a great responsibility it is.  We love you, amen.

Just for Kicks

Dear Canon,

    I am writing this down so that some day I can read these memories to you.  Yesterday marked 6 months of you being in my tummy.  We are getting ready for you, buying clothes and toys and all kinds of fun things.  Here's a couple of dates you did really cool things that  I want to remember.  On January 24th, just a few weeks after we found out who you were, your Daddy felt you kick for the first time.  It was kind of hard for him to feel, since you were still so tiny, but since then your kicks have gotten much stronger and you seem to be moving around all day long.  On January 31st, I got to SEE you kick from the outside of my belly for the first time.  My belly just looked like a bass drum, thumping with each movement you made.  You always seem to do neat things on Tuesdays, which also happens to be the day I count your age by, so it's neat to be reminded that even after you're born, you will learn new things every week: you're already changing so fast, I know will always amaze me!  On February 7th, just a week after I saw you kick for the first time, your Daddy got to see you kick too.  Your kicks are getting really strong, but sometimes only you and I know that your practicing your wrestling moves.  So far you weigh about a pound and half, but your doctor says you will gain about 4 ounces each week until the last month before you are born; then you'll gain a pound a week - YIKES!  Here's a picture of you inside my belly at six months.  I can't wait to take pictures of you outside of my belly, see your sweet face, and get to know you better.  I love you baby boy.

Much Love,

Mama

The Day I Met My Son

Yesterday was a day to remember, January 9, 2012.  Your Dad and I had a very important doctor's appointment.  So far, you had been living in my womb for twenty weeks, so that means we got to find out if you were a little boy or a little girl.  We had been waiting and waiting to give you a name, to start working on your nursery, and to be able to bond with you all the more knowing if you'd love hockey and wrestling or sparkles and princesses.  All along, we both wanted a boy.  You see, we wanted you to be the best big brother to the rest of your siblings some day.  We wanted you from the start, and in my heart of hearts, I knew you would be a boy.  God knew our desires, and he honored us with them.  And for that we are so joyful.  I had two dreams, which I truly believe, were God confirming to me that you were going to be our little boy.  Now that we know you a little better, and now that we've got to see you playing inside my belly, we know you are going to be such a blessing to your Daddy and me.  I can feel you moving inside of me, a lot in the mornings, and a lot after my morning coffee.  Your heart beat sounds like a train coming through a tunnel, and was 150 bpm yesterday, which everyone says is a great rhythm.  You are in the 60% for weight which is a healthy 13 oz.  Soon, after you weigh over a pound, Daddy will be able to feel you move from the outside of my belly.  Dr. Stanton says if you grow bigger towards the end of my pregnancy, we might get to meet you earlier than expected.  Your Daddy and I were pretty big babies, and your Grandma Tom was a ten-pounder, so that might be a good possibility!  Yesterday, we also found out that you love your feet, just like your cousin Kaysen.  The whole time we were watching you, you just kept playing with your feet and rubbing your eyes.  I think you will sleep just like your Daddy with your arm covering your eyes, since that's what you were doing when we saw you last.  


Well, after we told everyone you were a boy, your grandparents and aunts and uncles were so excited.  Here's a few things they and some other pretty important people said about you:


Grandpa Jim - "Canon James,  I really like the name, the middle part especially."


Grandpa Tom - "Yay, another boy! Congratulations! I bet Pete is excited."


Grandma Patti - "Oh what fun!  Oh my goodness!"


Grandma Karen - "Yay for blue!  Did you hear that, I'm going to have another grandson!"


Great Grandma Esther - "I knew it all along.  A sweet baby boy, I can't wait to meet him!"


Miss Mary's Voicemail - "Um hello, yes I'd like to speak with Canon please."


Aunt Athena - "I'm gonna have a nephew and Kaysen is going to have a boy cousin to terrorize the grandparents with! Yay!" 


Uncle Nick - "So, am I going to be an uncle to a niece or a nephew! I couldn't tell in the tiny picture!"


Aunt Emily - "I am so excited!  I knew it was a boy!"


Uncle John - "Congratulations guys!  A baby boy, what a blessing!  I love the name!"


Great Aunt Linda - "Yippee! Congratulations!!!"


Cousin Ashley - "I knew it!"


Cousin Kara - "I can't wait to lay eyes on Canon!"


Auntie Lolo - "Oh my goodness, my heart is very full for you two! Can't even imagine how you are feeling, love you guys!"


Auntie Candace - "I knew it! Love you and baby Canon!"


Pastor Mark - "Hey Phil Wickham has been singing about him.  So exciting!  He'll be a point guard in tradition of his Dad I guess."


Aunt Haley - "So cute!  I can't wait to meet you guys, and now baby Canon!"


Auntie Dani - "We love you already!"


Dr. Stanton - "What a beautiful baby boy, I see.  He's going to be gorgeous.  Good job Mom & Dad."


Canon, we just want you to know, that you are very loved by so many already.  Everyone is so excited to meet you, hold you, watch you grow, and see you love Jesus!  So many people are praying for you, and for me: that we will stay healthy and that when you decide to come into the world, that all will be safe and well.  But for now, keep on growing strong and growing big.  We can't wait until May.  What a big change you will bring about.  We love you so much baby boy.


Love,
Mom & Dad

Eleven Days

Just a few thoughts about baby, the coming days, and a prayer....


In eleven days we find out the sex of our little baby.  Words cannot express how excited I am to give our baby a name and to feel that much more connected to it.  Husband and I have been generously blessed with all kinds of baby gear, but we ourselves haven't purchased one thing yet.  I can't wait to buy baby's first outfit, baby's first toy, baby's first blanket.... etc.  I have waited until gender reveal day to do so, as I know as more babies come down the line, we won't ever have this opportunity to buy our FIRST baby it's FIRST purchase.  I can't wait to walk into that doctor's office and see our baby for the second time, its been 6 weeks since we've seen our little bambino move and shake.  I can't wait to see it's features more defined and its sweet profile resting inside of me.  Pete and I will be excited for either boy or girl, we just can't wait to know what God already knows and has planned for it's little life!


Lately in life, the husband and I have been overly showered with God's love and blessings. But because we live in a fallen world,  there will always be times of struggle and strife.  In thinking of these times, my thoughts today are "I am so glad that this baby is inside my womb.  It's so safe in there.  It can't hear the evil words this world speaks, it can't see any affects of sin yet, or feel pain yet."  I want to protect it forever this way, but in my selfishness, I also can't wait for it's birthday so that I can show it so many beautiful and innocent creations God has made for it to enjoy.   But for now, I am content in it being within me always.  No matter where I am, for now, I have the comfort of knowing that baby is with.  


Jesus, I pray for this baby.  I pray you give it a healthy life and a safe delivery.  I pray that it grows to be a disciple of You, loving you and serving you.  I pray that we will raise it to fear You.  I pray for it's sweet personality that you have already woven into it's heart, that he or she will be used by You in mighty ways. 

Josh Garrels

If you haven't already seen his free album on noise trade, get it now.  His style of music is so diverse, some hip hop, some indie, some instrumental, but most importantly, his lyrics are filled with sound doctrine, convicting the hearts of it's listeners.  Encourage you to download it now here.

Revelator 

Had a dream I was alone 
A vast expanse of complete unknown 
Sea of glass so clear it shown, 
Like gold 
Then a voice like thunder clapped, 
As a dead man I collapsed 
I am the first, I am the last, 
Now rise my son 

Then behold ten thousand kings, 
And every creature worshipping 
Every eye was on one thing, 
One man 
He’s like a lion like a lamb, 
As though slain he holds the plan 
To make war and peace with man, 
And reign on earth 

Holy, Holy, is the One, 
Who was and is, and is to come 
In a robe as red as blood, 
He comes forth 
Ride like lightning in the sky, 
Upon the war horse he draws nigh, 
The same one we crucified, 
Will come again

The Resistance

I was born into a system constructed for failure
It’s a sinking ship manned by drunken sailors
An escape artist behind the bars of a jailor
An asthmatic attack when we forgot the inhaler
If the shoe doesn’t fit what good is a tailor
In the midst of a crisis please cancel the gala
Without a symphony there’s no need for a prelude
To foreshadow what’s to come.
See the secret committees, commence with their meetings
To make red tape in response to simple questions
Questions threaten the perception of the beneficial systems
A pyramid scheme with it’s cogs and it’s pistons
Mechanization of men, making more and more
Live in a miserable exhistance
How can so few, claim so many victims
And this begs the question
My rest is a weapon against the oppression
Of mans obsession to control things
Look at the long line of make believe kings
The lord of the flies want’s you to kiss his ring
Follow new rules with invisible strings
And become a puppet in the diabolical scheme
How do good men become part of the regime
They don’t believe in resistance.

Hold fast like an anchor in the storm
We will not be moved

Lesson number one, overcome
Every fear of regret and confusion
It’s all illusion, delusion
Sent to disconnect the holy fusion
Of spirit and the flesh
Every mortal breath, is meant to bring forth fire
But only when the fear of death, gets consumed
On the funeral pier
So let the flames rise higher
Let every man be considered a liar
If he doubts the goodness and faithfulness of God
Itching ears will compulsively nod in approval
When unbelief is taught in all our temples and schools
But God can restrain the madness of a fool
He can bring His truth through the mouth of a mule
You can move an mountain without any tools
It just takes the faith of a little seed
to make a way through what might seem to be
Impossibility,
And the ability will match the occasion
The outcome will defy explanation
The liberation will not be televised
When it arrives like lightning in the skies

Hold fast like an anchor in the storm
For your love, we will rise and overcome
Through the fire

Hold fast my people and sing
Through peace and through suffering
All for the joy that it brings, to be free
It’s gonna cost us everything
To follow one Lord and King
True love endures everything
To be free

Hold fast, like an anchor in the storm
We will not be moved

Love Through Me

I stumbled over this lovely couple's music due to my adorable sister Emily.  They are Jenny & Tyler and not only are they adorable and their music charming, their mission is also right on:  to show Christ's love through their talents and musical gifts.  This song, "Love Through Me" and it's lyrics penetrated my heart, in this midst of my current season of blessing.  I hope it convicts you as well, to live with Christ central and to remember what this life should really be about. Not money or things or status, but that our minds and hearts have a continual  eternal perspective.  Listen here. Download their EP album for free just by joining their mailing list here.
-


there is plenty on this earth to suit our needs
but there will never ever be enough to satisfy our greed
weigh this heavy on me now until i can hardly breathe
love through me

i've never gone a day without a meal because i couldn't afford it
stood on a corner and begged for pennies, holding out a sign
call me blessed, but it sure does feel pathetic,
children ‘round the world are hungry now

so would i give up:
pillows and cable, clothing and candy,
if a boy could rest his tired bones?
would i lay down:
making all this money, just to have my milk and honey,
if my fellow man could get the chance to watch his children grow?

there is plenty on this earth to suit our needs
but there will never ever be enough to satisfy our greed
weigh this heavy on me now until i can hardly breathe
love through me

i feel in the right, self-justified giving coins away
but what about the time i consider mine not tomorrow but right now today?
clothe the naked; feed the hungry; welcome strangers
come on, get up and open your eyes

so would i give up:
pillows and cable, clothing and candy,
if a girl could have some more to eat?
would i lay down:
making all this money, just to have my milk and honey,
if my fellow man could get the chance to hear about the King?

there is plenty on this earth to suit our needs
but there will never ever be enough to satisfy our greed
weigh this heavy on me now until i can hardly breathe
love through me

help us see, our eyes are weak, help us please
love through me

An Abundant Life

mar·vel/ˈmärvəl/

Verb: Be filled with wonder or astonishment.

Noun: A wonderful or astonishing person or thing.

as·ton·ish/əˈstäniSH/

Verb: Surprise or impress (someone) greatly. 

won·der·ful/ˈwəndərfəl/

Adjective: Inspiring delight, pleasure, or admiration; extremely good; marvelous.

Marvelous, astonishing, wonderful, etc.... Lately, this joyful vocabulary has been in the forefront of my mind and on the tip on my tongue.  

I am ASTONISHED at God's favor towards us.  

Our home is nothing short of WONDERFUL.  

I MARVEL at God's love for His children and how faithful He is to bless them!  There is some serious marveling happening over here.  

This week, a certain passage has been resonating in my mind - I love when the Lord recalls His word.  The Holy Spirit has been so faithful to remind me of our abundance both past and present. 

Isaiah 55:8-11

8 “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts, 

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. 

9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. 

10 “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater, 

11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." 

VERSE 8-

His thoughts are not our thoughts because He is omniscient - all knowing.  I am so blessed to know that God knows the plans for my life - he is in the driver seat, I just have to enjoy the ride.  No good thing will He withhold from those who love Him & obey His word!  What good news that is for the believer!  He's in control!

VERSE 9-

His ways are higher than ours because He is perfect and we have a fallen sin nature.  Of course the Lord does things in different ways because He has hindsight, where as we can only see what is right in front of us.  Sometimes only putting the next foot forward can be difficult, and I speak from experience, but the Lord knows what information we can handle and only gives what is necessary.  That's where faith comes in.  When in doubt, look to past experiences where He has come through before, He will be faithful to do so in current circumstances as well!

VERSE 10-

He is the GREAT provider.  His word waters us daily, refreshing our hearts and washing us clean.  Deuteronomy 7:12-14 it speaks of the Lord blessing those who are obedient to His word.  "He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain..."  In other words, He's got us covered!  He will not leave us nor forsake disciples of his son Jesus Christ!

VERSE 11-

In my Christian life with the Lord, His word has NEVER returned void.  It has never disappointed and never have His covenants towards me been broken.  God is faithful to complete all that He promises.  I am so happy to be able to count on something in this life.  This world will disappoint us, sometimes people will disappoint us.  Money will disappoint, jobs will disappoint, but the LORD?  Never.  It's not in His nature.  I am so blessed by that fact.  Not only does His word never return void, but His word prospers our lives - He loves to give to His children.  The bible says in Matthew 7:7-11 that if our earthly fathers being sinful and evil (this is not a stab at my Dad, I love him and don't consider him evil at all!), although they love their children - if they can give good gifts to their children, how much more can our Heavenly Father give to His children who love and obey Him?  I can't even imagine.  

Our new home is a prime example.  It is beyond anything we need.  We are just two people.  We could easily live in a 500 square foot, fifth floor, have to go to the laundry mat because we don't have a W/D in the apartment, dwelling.  And we have.  We've lived in some pretty comical situations. (They're comical now, they weren't then...)  We certainly don't need a guest bathroom, a fireplace, a huge front porch, a comfortable neighborhood, and we certainly don't NEED to own our home.  But GOD! I love that phrase - BUT GOD; He loves us and wants to take care of us and even more than that, wants to bless us beyond reason!  

I stand in awe Lord!  Help me to use this home for YOUR glory, to bless others, to be a light in this dark world, and to shine for your glory not that of ourselves.  We love you Lord and are so thankful for your blessings in our lives.  Thank you God - we love You. Amen.

A House, A Home.

Let me take you on a little journey. It's a long one. You ready? Okay, let's begin.


It started January 15th.  Well, maybe it was a week before that.
We were house hunting, not just for thrills.  We were two weeks removed from our previous rental without choice, back to the sacred home of my sweet in-laws by force due to an uncontrollable, out of our hands, incident.  It actually wasn't my idea to buy a home, although the idea of home-ownership always sounded lofty and lovely, kinks included.  It was my husband's decision, well partly I should say. The Lord told Him that this is what we were to do, otherwise, I guarantee I would be blogging from another rented, unfamiliar, dusty and impersonal dwelling. Not because we don't want to own, but because we otherwise wouldn't have to guts to take such a great leap of faith. It wasn't really a leap.  I picture a leap as 99% successful, like jumping over a puddle in rainboots. Ours was more of a blind jump with no parachute, no back-up, and no other direction given.  So we obeyed.


But let's get back to the point - the first week in January.  We had two appointments with our realtor that day.  One house of which we were sure to fall in love with and the other house left much to be desired per the pictures online.  Funny the way things work out.  The first one (that we LOVED online) was a wreck.  The "backyard" would have needed a bush-hog to plow through the overgrown shoots of weeds - I wouldn't be surprised if I were to find a small alligator family living there comfortably.  No joke.  Being the un-handy people we are, we walked away knowing it would be way over our heads, let alone the poor people we would be depending upon to help us fix'er'up (they would have never spoken to us again, trust me).  


Onto house numero dos.  The pictures online? Horrid.  The pink exterior paint? Wow. Paired with the victorian scrolly embellishments, strange eighties stone work, and farm-style shutters? Interesting composition to say the least.  Strangely enough, upon arrival, the neighborhood was peppered with twenty-year tall oaks, homes mature and well-kept, streets wide and welcoming and the lots wider.  To be frank, the paint color didn't get any better in person, although my husband's affinity for said color strangely comforted him, being it was the same EXACT shade that his parent's house was for so many unliked years - (they hated it too, so don't worry I'm not stomping on anyone's design toes).  The dilapidated porch actually looked worse in person, but the inside was the deal sealer. Yes, the kitchen and bathrooms were ugly, but hey I like a challenge, I have always wanted to put my own stamp on our first home.  The main thing is, she had good bones: an open and airy floor plan, six year new roof, 8 year new AC, wall to wall tile/wood floors, two huge porches, a fenced in yard and square footage for miles baby (okay for 2100 feet, I couldn't help myself).


That week Pete left for California to the Youth Pastor's Conference.  We both decided that if this were to be our house, one week of waiting wouldn't hurt.  If it wasn't our house, someone else would make an offer in that time. So we prayed and prayed and waited 'til he got home a week later on a Friday. That Saturday we made an offer - January Fifteenth. 


Here comes the fun part.  We waited and sat and waited and sat and then waited some more.  My lesson is ALWAYS waiting, me and the Lord have a fun banter going, but I'm becoming okay with waiting. Me and waiting? We're like THIS - fingers crossed.  The first two months (January & February) were a very sweet time of packing up my in-laws, spending lots of late hours together that we otherwise would have missed out on, and giving them a proper send off to Montana, complete with a final two months of love.  Then March came and the busy-ness subsided.  We settled into our paper plates, styrofoam cups, and minimal furniture lifestyle - ready to move at a moment's notice (remember, our family now moved out of their enormous house, along with all of their belongings and we stayed in their home whilst awaiting our answer).  Then came April.  The paper plates ran low, the lack of dishware became annoying and my expectation of our short sale taking 30 days to approve fizzeled slowly, not to mention my lack of wardrobe options was becoming increasingly apparent.  See I'm an optimist and I couldn't get that '30-day miracle short sale' our realtor mentioned out of my thick skull.  We heard back in April that the bank had accepted our offer.  From there we knew it could take 30 days for our loan to be approved so I figured, hey May 6th is exactly one month away, we might be moving on my birthday - how awesome would that be??? Naivety at it's finest folks, see I can say that now and it really is funny like they say.


Welp. No. That didn't happen.  The approval from the bank was only the first of 27, yes, 27 steps that the bank had to still go through.  Don't ask me what the other 26 steps were, but it took another two months from that happy day in April when we first saw a shimmer of hope.  I only broke down once during that second waiting period - like actual meltdown, throwing up, what the heck are we doing Lord kind of a deal.  You know, I tend to be dramatic when things start closing in on me - kind of like that kid in the candy aisle crying on the floor... maybe akin to that, a little bit.  But in all of this I knew the Lord was in control, and I have never been so close to His side.  His constant comfort to my cries and whines were incomparable, even to my sweet husband's kind words of encouragement.  


His timing, I didn't understand.  His direction of buying a house now, I really didn't understand, especially because we had to come up with thousands of dollars with no sure time frame.  But He has revealed these mysterious things to both of us.  Had we not made an offer when we did, we would not be able to use my husband's current job of seven years as collateral, as he hopes to transfer to a position of full time-ministry soon.  Let's just say that banks don't give out loans to people who jump around a lot - I have never been so thankful that my husband, (although his job is taxing and he is ready to move on as soon as the Lord sees fit) has remain firmly planted, and bloomed for that matter.  He is being used as a light to a dark world that might not otherwise see Jesus.  He is comforting others, encouraging fellow believers, and I am so proud of his constant endurance and strength.  Waking up at 3am several days a week while simultaneously serving at church for the duration of another full time job is not something I would be capable of taking on, but he has and is handling it flawlessly - I get to brag since I'm the one writing this thing.  All the while, he lets me enjoy my luxe schedule while working my dream job!  He really is amazing, if you don't know that already.  


His timing, I now also understand.  Had it happened any sooner, it would have been in my own strength.  I came to a point of total contentment in the Lord.  I would have rented another apartment if this all fell through in the end and would have been joyful to, only to prove that I trusted in the Lord and obeyed His word to my husband.  As he put it, God's direction to him was as close to audible as he has ever heard.  We held fast to that word and knew that his word would not return void.  


Then last week hit.  It was a ringer of a week.  Things were falling out of our grasp and out of our control.  Everything was done and approved on the house - things seemed to be moving swiftly for once. Then hiccups popped up regarding our loan.  Things had been overlooked in departments beyond our sight or control.  It really felt as if we were tetering on the edge of a cliff, holding on for whatever wave of bad news struck next.  Two young men whom close friends of ours knew went to be with Jesus that week - it was dark and Satan had his fiery darts in hand.  The waves were building and the storm was brewing forcefully. 


The Lord was with us then too though.  He heard us and saw us and never left us, even though we couldn't see Him or hear Him telling us what to do.  Then He gave us this verse, that I will forever hold dear to my heart:


Revelation 2:10
"Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life." 


Pete read this verse in his devotion the day we heard the news about our loan, not knowing of the issues that had arose, as I had been dealing with them at work while he was resting after an early morning work day.  He told me this verse burned in his chest and he knew it was for us and that we needed to take heed.  This verse quenched our fears and questions.  From there we gave it to the Lord, sought prayer from family and loving friends and waited to hear a conclusion.


The next day, Satan was at work again in my mind amidst the verse that comforted me so perfectly.  Lies telling me that the Lord was only testing our faith and that He would not be faithful to his promise to us, that we were foolish for waiting upon nothing, and that we should just give up and give in.  I held fast to His word and prayed more.  


Hours into the day my phone rang with good news on the other end: our insurance rates were miraculously lowered due to a phenomenal appraisal and inspection, which put us in the clear financially with or without changes to our income.


I write to you now, less than a week away from closing.  Can you believe it?  I told you it was a long ride, but it was worth it no?  Please continue to pray for us, as it is still hard to get excited even when I see the end in site.  Satan still gives me doubt but I know the Lord is sovereign in all things.  Thank you for those of you who have bathed us in prayer and service in helping us ready the house and ourselves for transition.  We dedicate this home to the service of the Lord and can't wait to see how this earthly home will be used to bring others an eternal home in heaven.


Much much much love,
Kendra

Hiatus

Hello!
I have been taking a blogging break in the midst of packing up my dear family (my mother & father-in-law) as they have recently moved to Montana.  This post is very raw, and serves purely as a personal journal entry.  I need to remember milestones in my life, and this is definitely one of them.  


To date, they safely arrived after an arduous five-day trek of driving cross-country with little to no "bumps" along the way, aside from one flat tire & a three hour waiting period for said tire to be fixed. They have since unpacked most of what they took with them and have lots of help making their 600 sq. foot cabin their new home.  We miss them terribly.  So far, it really just feels like they are on vacation, as it has only been a week since they've moved.  But the empty, furniture-less and echoing house tells me otherwise.  


The first day was tough.  I had to say goodbye in the early morning only to go about my "normal" day as if nothing strange had occurred.  I got up extra early to read my bible, while awaiting the unhappy goodbye.  I remember sitting at the kitchen counter - reading, searching for encouragement from the Word.  Silently, I hoped they would never come down, that this was all just a big, strange, funny joke.  'We aren't moving away, we just bought a smaller house! We thought we'd play a joke!'  Too bad my mind's tricks can't sometimes come true.... As I read, I treasured the last moments of family still sleeping upstairs and prayed, "Lord, please hold back the tears.  Help me to be strong so they can leave happy, joyful, and ready for their new, exciting adventure." As I heard the charming creeks of the well worn staircase, I knew it was time.


We stood in the empty dining room, staring at the floor making small talk like awkward teenagers staring at their feet... trying to delay the ever present moment that was to come.  Seconds ticked away and I knew I had to leave for work.  The prayer didn't work - I was a mess and so were they.  But it was okay.  We cried and cried.  I joked to break the heavy emotion that filled the room, "You know I'm going to get pregnant tomorrow right?  I can make that happen you know."  It lightened the mood but only for a moment.  We hugged again and I said goodbye.  Although they had a long journey ahead of them, my day's routine had not changed which seemed so strange to me.   In the midst of so much change, I still had to do what was expected of me.  I couldn't stay home and say goodbye for two more hours before they left, I had to go.  As I exited the house, I kept my chin up and my smile on.  I honked the signature "two beep" goodbye as I drove away with my sunglasses on, hiding the streaming tears.  


I cried a lot that day.  I cried in the car, at work when my boss asked me if my allergies were bothering me, at bible study that night, and finally in my husband's arms as the day came to a close.  It was a hard day, but all the tears were good.  They were tears of healing, tears of joy, tears of transition.  I am SO proud of them, and so proud to call them family.   They are such an example of Godliness, their trust in the Lord far outweighs their earthly comforts.  Not many people their age (no offense) would just pick up and move, leave family and church friends behind, only to follow the upward call of Jesus Christ - but they have and they will continue to do so until they meet Jesus.  I have no doubt in my mind.  They are people of genuine faith that consider their faithfulness to God more important than their own desires or comfort.  I love them dearly, and am so blessed that they raised up their son, my husband, to be just like them.  He is an amazing man of faithfulness, servitude, and passion for the Lord.  I hope that we too, will be as faithful as they are and continue to be.  I will close with this passage from the book of Philippians.  Paul is writing from a jail cell to a church that he started in Philippi, to check on the people and the encourage them.  Coincidently (or God-incidently) I have been reading through this book for the past six months along with the other ladies in my church family, and it has been so comforting to me during this time in my life.  Here are a few verses from each chapter that I have found particularly encouraging:


Philippians 1:3-8
³ I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, ⁴ always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, ⁵ for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, ⁶ being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; ⁷ just as it is right for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart, inasmuch as both in my chains and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers with me of grace. ⁸ For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ. 


Philippians 2:12-18
¹² Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; ¹³ for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. ¹⁴ Do all things without complaining and disputing, ¹⁵ that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, ¹⁶ holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain. ¹⁷ Yes, and if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. ¹⁸ For the same reason you also be glad and rejoice with me.


Philippians 3:7-14
⁷ But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. ⁸ Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; ¹⁰ that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, ¹¹ if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. ¹² Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. ¹³ Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, ¹⁴ I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 


Philippians 4:10-13
¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. ¹¹ Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: ¹² I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. ¹³ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


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All this to say, please pray for my dear family as they too are transitioning.  Thank you to those who have comforted us during this time, those who have helped in the labor of packing and lifting, and to those who continue to lift us up in prayer.  Love you Patti & Jim and thinking of you daily! Can't wait to visit.....after the snow melts down to 3 feet instead of 15 of course :) 


For more information on the ministry that they are now serving alongside of, visit this website: http://www.pottersfield.org/


*side note, Mom, I did not get pregnant the day after they left, you can stop holding your breath now - you must be blue.*